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Admiral's Watch
"Extremism in defense of indulgence is no vice!" -- Rear Admiral Phineas Fogg-Bottom
FROM THE DECK OF THE HMS FOGWATCH -- Your Admiral is not usually one to heap praise upon the San Francisco Board of Supervisors. But last week our city fathers made a gutsy, go-it-alone move that is sure to have long-term consequences in the campaign to make our city a better place to live. By unanimous vote, the board voted to outlaw public urination and defecation on the streets of San Francisco. The board’s move flew in the face of years of public policy and heavy opposition from the pro-urination lobby. These individuals, supported by shadowy special-interest groups whose motives are cloudy, claimed that outlawing public urination would eliminate one of the few customs left that make San Francisco such a unique place in which to live and visit. To some extent, they have a point. San Franciscans have a long, storied tradition of al fresco relief that dates back to the Gold Rush era, when a paucity of public toilets prompted impatient 49ers to relieve themselves in the streets. Outdoor urination took on a political scent in the 1960s as antiwar demonstrators used it as a form of protest, urinating on the shoes of National Guardsmen. Even Your Admiral has been known to duck behind the odd newspaper rack now and again when nature calls. But times change, and so should San Francisco. By rightly sensing that the wind has shifted, the Board of Supervisors set an example that is sure to be heeded by all San Francisco’s residents. The board’s moral authority is simply too great to be ignored, and cases of public urination and defecation are surely plummeting to zero as you read this article. This was not an easy vote to make. Each one of our supervisors risked his or her political career for cleaner streets. They deserve our support and gratitude. Your Admiral, Rear Admiral Phineas Fogg-Bottom Admiral's Watch Archives SF voters fall for solar boondoggle Old San Francisco is dying |
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