By Baron Helmut von Badde-Veather

SAN FRANCISCO - Sunset District officials have drawn up an ambitious plan to ensure that the neighborhood retains its unique character throughout the year by installing massive fog machines at dozens of locations in the district. The machines would kick in during periods of sunny weather, replacing the glare of harsh sunlight with a cool, soothing mist to protect residents from deadly ultraviolet radiation.

In a press conference on Tuesday, district notables explained the particulars of the plan, which is designed to counteract a major disadvantage of this neighborhood on the City’s west side: That its renowned fog is mostly a summer phenomenon.

"The major problem with the Sunset District is that it is foggy only five to six months out of the year, from May through September," said Reggie O’Malley of the Sunset District Improvement Association. "For the rest of the time, Sunset residents have no protection from the deadly effects of solar radiation, a notorious cause of a wide range of ills."

The plan calls for the installation of 120 industrial-grade fog machines on the rooftops of businesses and residences throughout the Sunset. Each high-output machine is capable of blanketing 10 city blocks with fog in an hour, according to its manufacturer, FogWerx Inc. of Hollywood, CA.

Accompanying each fog machine would be a bank of highly sensitive photodiode detectors that would constantly monitor weather conditions and would activate fog production in the occurrence of a "solar event" lasting 10 minutes or longer. In keeping with the City’s standing policy of promoting alternative energy solutions, the fog machine and photodiode bank would be powered by solar panels, ensuring that the entire project operates "off the grid."

The project will begin with a pilot phase next month, in which five fog machines will be installed at locations along 19th Avenue. Full installation of all 120 machines is expected to be completed by this summer.