By Captain Hiram Benjamin Chunderford

NEW YORK CITY - Pioneering Internet-Web site FogWatch.com defied financial markets yesterday, raising $225 million in an oversubscribed initial public offering that was almost universally derided by financial industry observers. FogWatch backers say the strength of the offering demonstrates the fundamental soundness of the company’s plan to corner the market for fog-related products and services (FRPAS).

FogWatch issued 22.5 million shares at an IPO price of $10 a share, netting the San Francisco firm $225 million before expenses. The stock, trading on the New York Stock Exchange under the symbol "FOGW," was snapped up by investors perhaps nostalgic for a return to the dot-com glory days. Shares on the first day of trading closed at $27.33, an increase of 173.3%.

FogWatch’s chief executive, Rear Admiral Phineas Fogg-Bottom, ushered in the stock’s first day of trading by sounding a blast from a massive foghorn that was trucked to the stock exchange floor specifically for the occasion. Perhaps inspired by the display, frenzied traders immediately began placing "buy" orders for FOGW shares once the shock of the blast wore off.

Financial analysts had pooh-poohed the IPO, noting that FogWatch had no discernible revenue at present, and that its ambitious plans to monetize fog and fog-related phenomena were dubious at best. In addition, the company is incurring significant expenses in maintaining a Victorian-era sailing ship -- with full complement of crew -- at Gray Lake in Golden Gate Park.

"I am baffled as to why it takes an entire sailing ship with a dozen sailors to operate one Web cam to monitor fog," said Brian Solomon of Venture Traders Analysts of New York City. "One guy living in the Sunset could do the same thing with a cam on top of his house."

Fogg-Bottom has provided little information as to the company’s plans for its financial windfall. The firm has stated that it plans to build a massive, fog-proof bunker at an undisclosed location in the Outer Sunset to house its fog-trading operations. But Sunset District residents say they’ve yet to see any sign of construction on such a large scale.

Also nebulous are the company’s plans to roll out its unique business model to other industries through a series of complex partnerships that remove much of the risk from FogWatch’s balance sheet while maximizing its potential return.

Fogg-Bottom has stated that the company will use proceeds from the IPO to substantially upgrade its fog-monitoring technology. FOGW skeptics, however, have pointed out that this could be accomplished through the purchase of a $120 Web cam, leaving approximately $224,499,880 in IPO funds unaccounted for.

Despite these lingering doubts, investors seemed willing to overlook these concerns in their exuberance for a return to the golden days of the late 1990s, when it seemed that anyone with a business plan and a cell phone could get rich. Perhaps one factor behind the IPO's success has been the astonishing growth in FogWatch.com's user traffic since the site launched in September 2001. The company has experienced a 3,900% jump in traffic since launch, with the number of daily users growing from one per day a year ago to an average of 40 per day at present.

"Thanks to FogWatch, I may be able to retire early again," said Frank Cippione, a former schoolteacher in the Richmond District who is now working at Carousel Diner after his tech-heavy IRA portfolio collapsed last year. "I’m putting everything I’ve got into Fogg-Bottom’s hands."

FogWatch.com revives dot-com glory with plans for initial public offering