By First Mate Gian Carolo Luigi della Stromboli

SAN FRANCISCO - The San Francisco Art Commission stirred up another hornet’s nest of controversy this week when it voted to approve the erection of a gigantic penis sculpture -- and accompanying testicles -- in the City’s Castro District. The vote is the latest in a series of embarrassing artistic controversies that have engulfed the commission in the last few years.

The giant penis is the work of French performance artist Jean Chartreuse et Noir, who in addition to artistic endeavors is a fixture in the French "adult photography" industry. Chartreuse et Noir reportedly modeled the 40-foot-tall phallus after a mold of his own manhood.

Members of the art commission immediately took a shine to the penis at a commission meeting on Monday. By unanimous acclamation, they voted its erection at the corner of Castro and Market streets as soon as is practical.

Most in attendance believed that the Brobdingnagian willy is probably the best artistic representation of the throbbing, vibrant spirit that has made the Castro one of the City's most flamboyant neighborhoods.

"It's really a gorgeous piece of work," said commission chair Biff LeMasters, running his hands along a 1/10th model of the sculpture that was displayed at the commission hearing. "The detail is so amazing -- this is the kind of (sculptural) erection that the City so badly needs."

Whether the sculpture gets built is another issue entirely. A number of other projects championed by the art commission -- each designed to emphasize the local character of the neighborhood in which they were installed -- have been abandoned in the face of severe public criticism. They include:

• A giant stainless steel peace sign in the Haight-Ashbury District
• A massive foot along the Embarcadero
• A 50-foot-tall papier mâché take-out container in Chinatown
• An enormous titanium credit card in the center of Union Square
• A pair of monstrous, glistening breasts in the Tenderloin
• A huge yellow "Denver Boot" parking control device in North Beach
• A scale model of a commercial jetliner circling endlessly in a holding pattern at SF International Airport

Indeed, opposition to the Castro penis is already rising. One group in attendance at the art commission meeting, the Eunuch Liberation Front/Golden Gate Chapter, demanded that the testicles be removed from the sculpture to avoid offending members of the City's sizable eunuch population.

"This sculpture is an affront to those San Francisco citizens who are testes-challenged," said Mustafa Burrahamanian. "If this erection goes up, you can bet that the ELF will be there to beat it down, every step of the way."